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Essentials of Negotiation – Be A Negotiation Specialist!

Some people make it look really easy – closing deals and winning great transactions without breaking sweat. But do you know that there are ways to become an expert on the essentials of negotiation and getting things done your way? The benefits of knowing the essentials of negotiation are endless!

You can score many opportunities, create better professional relationship with customers and ultimately enhance your career. Read on to discover the essentials of negotiation and reap the benefits…

1. Maintain a relaxed mood. Keep a friendly but emotionally resigned front. It helps to be patient. In the total length of time it takes to negotiate, decisions and compromises are met at the last remaining minutes of the discussion. Keep it cool.

2. Always have your focus in mind. No matter where the conversation leads to or how hard the other party tries to mislead you, jump back to the topic at hand and retain your focus. Though this seems so simple, it is actually considered one of the essentials of negotiation.

3. Be open to options. Hey, who says you’re supposed to get it all done on your own terms all the way? If it’s not possible, don’t just give in to the other person, ask for other options. Better yet, suggest some of your own. Do make sure though, that your suggestions are still within your negotiating capacity.

4. Point out both the “good” and the “bad”. Making good negotiations entail many different decisions. In order to make good decisions, all the sides of an idea should be clear and known by both parties. Be sure you mention the risks involved while you state the benefits. It won’t do your conscience any good if you won a deal by covering up some “cons” involved. The essentials of negotiation require you to be dedicated to your goal but also virtuous to avoid a possible backlash from unsatisfied clients.

Good negotiators are not born with negotiation skills; they have learned and polished such skills through time. Knowing the essentials of negotiation will not only get you through that deal, it will make you spell success through the greater opportunities of life!

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How Your Clutter Stops You From Living In The Present

Despite the fact that your clutter is obviously around you in the here and now, one of the reasons why having a good declutter session makes you feel great is because most clutter is anchored in the past. So as you exist with all these remnants of your past in your immediate surroundings, you are unconsciously holding yourself in that past. Which means that you’re stopping yourself from moving forward in a lighter persent and towards a freer future.

Most people’s clutter is a mixture of their ancient history, their middle past and their recently lived present. It can be most interesting to take a look at your own clutter and see if there’s a period of your life which you’re holding onto particularly strongly. There may not be – you may find that your clutter is a mishmash of past life stages and more recent procrastinations.

The reason why clutter accumulates in the way that it does is because most of it doesn’t actually start out as clutter at all. Think about your own clutter and you’ll probably realize that most of it started out as something useful, valuable, attractive, creative, supportive, positive…

As time passes, though, what happens is that those valuable and attractive items simply get out of date. Over the months and years they reach a point where they’re no longer useful or valuable to you. But instead of recognizing that fact, you hang onto them out of habit. Or just in case. Or for sentimental reasons.

Sentimentality around clutter most often occurs after the death of someone close. You inherit all sorts of items which, under happier circumstances, you would easily identify as clutter and dispose of. But there’s an emotional attachment to these particular items and to the past memories that they hold.

A coaching client of mine, living in a small house, inherited a large amount of family memorabilia when her father died. She kept it for a while, but didn’t really have either space or use for most it and felt guilty whenever she considered the possibility of not keeping it all. The moment of truth came when she realized that her dad would never have wished for her to be leading a heavy hearted existence full of clutter and obligation to old memories. She chose a couple of items that she wanted to keep, then contacted an auction house about the rest. She knew her dad would be proud that she was being decisive and getting on with her life.

It may be a painful truth, but in these circumstances, you are the one moving forward with your life and you need to choose what will serve you best as you do that. You most certainly do not have to discard all your happy memories in the decluttering process, but do make sure that you ditch the guilt!

Decluttering is never a one-off. However careful you are not to let obvious clutter into your life, there are always going to be some things that evolve into clutter over time. So if you want to be clutter free in the long term and you want to live your life in the here and now instead of letting your clutter drag you back into the past, there’s a really important skill you need to learn…

By developing an awareness that allows you to recognize when something that was once useful and valuable has evolved into clutter, you will be well on the path to clutter free success. The second step involves learning to thank that clutter warmly for its previous usefulness, and then to dispose of it with gratitude in your heart. In this way clutter is not the enemy, holding you back, it is simply a reminder that you are involved in the ongoing process of staying present in the present.

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The Three WORST Pieces of Advice Given to Presenters (and How Best to Ignore Them)

Ever hear the one about picturing your audience naked to overcome your fear of presenting to them? How about the one about practicing in front of a mirror? Anyone who has ever tried either of those well-meaning tropes knows how futile they are. Deluding ourselves that we can calm fears by laughing at our audience, or that we can convince them of anything by faking authenticity, is worse than a waste of time. It prevents us from using our greatest power as presenters: our true selves. Try ignoring the “worst advice” and substituting powerful communication instead.

Worst Advice:

Memorize Your Presentation

Now this one sounds reasonable enough on the surface. After all, much of our fear about presenting is wrapped up in our fear of looking foolish in front of others. Some of that comes from our fear of drawing a blank when all eyes are on us. If we memorize our presentation, that won’t happen, right? Perhaps, but what will certainly happen is that we’ll be taken out of “the moment” as we put all of our energy and attention on recalling the least significant portion of our presentation: the literal words. Suddenly, we’re not focused on the immediate reaction we’re getting from the audience or on making sure we’re connecting with them. We’re focusing instead on making sure the words keep coming. That sets the bar too low: surviving the presentation until the end isn’t your goal. CONNECTING to your audience is.

Instead: Know Your Presentation

Focus on the essence of what you’re presenting: namely your key messages. This is what’s most important for your audience to understand. If the worst happens and all of your materials and notes disappeared, how would you summarize what you came to say? Put those bigger ideas up front and build your presentation around them. Your audience won’t likely remember all of the supporting details, but they should remember your key points. Worry less about repeating the exact words you intended and more about making sure you’re connecting. If you see heads nodding, react. If you see puzzled looks, don’t just plow through. Stop and make sure you’re not rushing ahead of your audience just to fill space. Slow yourself down and make sure you really see your audience and gauge their reactions. Remember, no one knows what you were supposed to say, so don’t let a pause or different phrasing than you’d planned throw you.

Use a Lot of Bullets

For some reason, lots of presenters think they can take a long, dry presentation and suddenly make it come alive if they can just add enough bullets to the screen. Ever sit through one of those presentations where the bullets don’t in any way indicate an abbreviated point? Heck, they may not even indicate a point! Here’s the thing: TEXT ON A SLIDE IS NOT A VISUAL AID. There is nothing about text that makes it more understandable, or illustrative, than the spoken word, by itself.

Instead: Put the Visual Back in Visual Aid

Are there actual visuals that would help illustrate your points? Can you bring in relevant charts, graphs, photos, illustrations to help your audience “see” your points? If you must use bullets, greatly reduce them and the words you use. Your audience didn’t come to read and they didn’t come to listen to YOU read to them. (Hint: if you use punctuation in your bulleted information, you’re using too many words.)

More is Better

Ever sit through a presentation that’s a product of many hands? More detail, more slides, with the presenter intoning something like… “..and here you can see again… “ or “this is just yet another example of… “ Yes, you want to prove your key points. Data does help you do that. However, information overload may quickly confuse your audience and actually mask your key points.

Instead: Pointed is Powerful

Limit your backup points and secondary data to your “best stuff.” Ask yourself whether any given slide is necessary, why, and what might instead be moved to handout material. Remember, this is ORAL presentation. That means it’s necessary for presenters to pay attention to higher messages, with just enough information to lend strong support. Remember, you are the presentation, so stay center stage.

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