Pillars of Success – Embrace The Present

As we progress through the journeys of our lives, careers and businesses, we often stop to reflect on where we are at a given point in time. Like mapping any trip, we have certain expectations of our progress along the way. Similarly, setting timelines for our goals make them more tangible and urgent. What happens, however, when we find ourselves at a place other than where we expected? A typical reaction is to explain, excuse or perhaps even criticize. The mere fact that we see ourselves as not being “as far along as we should be” passes negative judgment and sets the stage for the world of scarcity thinking. The situations where this kind of scarcity thinking can creep into our psyche are numerous. Here are some examples that may be familiar:

A person begins something that is new and uncertain and finds themselves in a group situation such as a class or educational program. Immediately, they start compare themselves to other and begin to think that “everyone else is so much more qualified or further along” and wonder how they will ever catch or keep up.
A corporate professional thinks their career is passing them by. They see themselves passed over time and time again for recognition, leadership opportunities or promotions. They wonder how it is that they are so stuck where they are and others are moving ahead of them
A new entrepreneur who is sure that they have done all the right things still hasn’t achieved what they thought they would by this stage of their business. Like the professional, they see their peers moving effortlessly toward greater success. They may try new and different things, grasping at this idea or that but become more frustrated or despondent that they are still stuck.
In each of these examples and in others like them, the constraints of scarcity thinking become apparent. What is focused on with laser intensity is “WHAT IS NOT”: what skills are deficient, what career progress or entrepreneurial success is not attained. The Present reinforces our sense of failure as seen through the lens of our own expectations or our assumptions about someone else’s journey.

Step back for a moment and imagine that whatever your circumstances, whatever your present situation, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Where we are at any point in time is the cumulative effect of each of the decisions, actions, external events and our responses to them. Thus, while we may not be where we expected to be, we are where we are supposed to be. By embracing the present, we allow ourselves to discover the unique opportunities that are available to us right here and right now. Instead of beating ourselves up for not being somewhere else, we can identify the options that may have been overlooked otherwise. Perhaps instead of being “stuck”, we are where we are because there is knowledge or information that we need to gather before taking our next steps. Finally, consider the possibility that we are where we are because we need the chance to step back, catch our breath and enjoy things that may have been pushed to the side in the pursuit of our goals.

Our goals and objectives are like stops or progress points on a trip. We set a target for where we would like to be at a certain point on our journey. What would you do if you find yourself in Flagstaff at the end of your day’s travels instead of Albuquerque? Do you “fire” yourself? Do you cancel your trip or give up and go home? Do you keep driving relentlessly to make Albuquerque before you stop? Probably not. Instead, you likely consider the circumstances that brought you as far as you are, reassess your journey and plans and then go out to discover the surprises of a place that don’t know very well. The same approach works for our life and professional goals as well. It’s your journey, and each stop along the way is an important part of the map that will guide you where you want to go. Enjoy where you are. You are supposed to be here.

How Your Clutter Stops You From Living In The Present

Despite the fact that your clutter is obviously around you in the here and now, one of the reasons why having a good declutter session makes you feel great is because most clutter is anchored in the past. So as you exist with all these remnants of your past in your immediate surroundings, you are unconsciously holding yourself in that past. Which means that you’re stopping yourself from moving forward in a lighter persent and towards a freer future.

Most people’s clutter is a mixture of their ancient history, their middle past and their recently lived present. It can be most interesting to take a look at your own clutter and see if there’s a period of your life which you’re holding onto particularly strongly. There may not be – you may find that your clutter is a mishmash of past life stages and more recent procrastinations.

The reason why clutter accumulates in the way that it does is because most of it doesn’t actually start out as clutter at all. Think about your own clutter and you’ll probably realize that most of it started out as something useful, valuable, attractive, creative, supportive, positive…

As time passes, though, what happens is that those valuable and attractive items simply get out of date. Over the months and years they reach a point where they’re no longer useful or valuable to you. But instead of recognizing that fact, you hang onto them out of habit. Or just in case. Or for sentimental reasons.

Sentimentality around clutter most often occurs after the death of someone close. You inherit all sorts of items which, under happier circumstances, you would easily identify as clutter and dispose of. But there’s an emotional attachment to these particular items and to the past memories that they hold.

A coaching client of mine, living in a small house, inherited a large amount of family memorabilia when her father died. She kept it for a while, but didn’t really have either space or use for most it and felt guilty whenever she considered the possibility of not keeping it all. The moment of truth came when she realized that her dad would never have wished for her to be leading a heavy hearted existence full of clutter and obligation to old memories. She chose a couple of items that she wanted to keep, then contacted an auction house about the rest. She knew her dad would be proud that she was being decisive and getting on with her life.

It may be a painful truth, but in these circumstances, you are the one moving forward with your life and you need to choose what will serve you best as you do that. You most certainly do not have to discard all your happy memories in the decluttering process, but do make sure that you ditch the guilt!

Decluttering is never a one-off. However careful you are not to let obvious clutter into your life, there are always going to be some things that evolve into clutter over time. So if you want to be clutter free in the long term and you want to live your life in the here and now instead of letting your clutter drag you back into the past, there’s a really important skill you need to learn…

By developing an awareness that allows you to recognize when something that was once useful and valuable has evolved into clutter, you will be well on the path to clutter free success. The second step involves learning to thank that clutter warmly for its previous usefulness, and then to dispose of it with gratitude in your heart. In this way clutter is not the enemy, holding you back, it is simply a reminder that you are involved in the ongoing process of staying present in the present.

Debt Negotiation – 3 Frequently Asked Questions

There are a lot of people who were in debt because of the current economic situation. This is unfortunate but it is not the end of the world, you can help yourself out of debt with good sound economic advice, a bit of education, and of course learning how to negotiate your debts. Here are some frequently asked questions about debt negotiation.

1. What is the first thing I should do if I need debt negotiation?

The first thing that you should do is to start taking account of what you are spending. If you need debt negotiation then you are obviously spending too much money, more money going out than there is money coming in. So you need to sit down and write a list of all the money that you owe to your creditors. Then you need to make a list of the essential purchases that you need to make every month. Add to this list the essential bills that you need to pay every month. Take your expenses from your income and you have a fairly accurate figure for the monthly amount which you can use to pay off your debts.

2. Are there different methods of debt negotiation?

There are debt negotiation companies who will be able to help you negotiate with your creditors. This can sometimes involve setting up a trust fund, where enough money is saved until the company can begin reasonable negotiations on your behalf. You can also attempt the negotiation yourself. This will involve you calling up each of your creditors and letting them know that you are having financial problems. It is in their interests to help you.

3. Is there anything I should be doing after debt negotiation?

After your debts have been negotiated, you need to seriously start thinking about why you were in debt in the first place. This means that you should embark on a course of debt education. This will involve improving your budgeting skills, and help you to realize that you can lead a very happy and fulfilling life without spending lots of money.